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Teaching kindergartners as a school counselor for the first time was like stepping into a whirlwind of surprises. Little did I know, a seemingly innocent choice of words would turn my well-intentioned lesson into hilarious chaos. Instead of asking, “What questions do you have about this lesson?” as I should have, I innocently asked, “What questions do you have?” I was immediately barraged with a torrent of unrelated inquiries. Yet, amidst the hilarious storm, one question reigned supreme: “Where do babies come from?”
I remember stammering through some benign response and directing them to ask their parents. But as a parent, how do you answer that question in an age-appropriate and biologically accurate way? Because I can tell you that when my child asked me one hot summer day during our regular commute, I wasn’t prepared. As I navigated my way in and out of traffic, I cobbled together some incoherent, woefully inadequate response. I realized I needed help explaining this topic and began searching for resources.
What I found was better than anything I could have ever attempted alone. Cory Silverberg thoughtfully wrote What Makes a Baby to help guide the conversation in an easily understandable and biological fashion. Silverberg avoids the typical trope of “when a mommy and a daddy” and opts instead to use gender-neutral terms and defines the essentials of making a baby as an egg, sperm, and a uterus.
Fiona Smyth’s illustrations bring the story of what makes a baby to life and include androgynous people of various shapes and colors. The simplicity of the descriptions leaves the reader feeling empowered and curious instead of awkward and on edge. What Makes a Baby can be read with children as young as three and only takes a few minutes to read, and it sets the readers up for much longer and deeper conversations, especially with older children.
And when those children are ready for those deeper conversations, Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth teamed up again to write two more books: Sex is a Funny Word: A Book about Bodies, Feelings, and YOU (8-12) and You Know, Sex: Bodies, Gender, Puberty, and Other Things for children aged 10 to 14 years. Both books deliver thoughtful, age-appropriate, and biologically accurate information focusing on consent and learning to trust oneself by listening to our bodies.
“Trusting your body means learning to listen to your body.”
-Cory Silverberg
I am incredibly grateful to be parenting in a world where these resources exist. Navigating these discussions can be challenging, and ensuring the information we provide is accurate and age-appropriate poses its own difficulties. It may be tempting to rely solely on schools to educate our children about these sensitive topics. However, while researching for this article, I made a startling discovery. According to Guttmacher Institute, in 12 US states, sex education is not even a requirement in schools, and out of the 38 states that do require it, 17 offer abstinence-only education. Even more alarming is the fact that 33 states have no specific mandates for medically accurate education, and 39 states don’t require discussions on consent. These statistics are truly concerning and highlight the urgent need for comprehensive and informed sex education.
For those with means, Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth have created invaluable resources that allow us to initiate those conversations in an inclusive and informative manner. However, it is evident that we need to go beyond individual efforts and strive for a comprehensive sex education program that reaches all children, ensuring they receive accurate and inclusive information that empowers them to make informed decisions about their bodies and relationships.
THE FEELINGS LADY 